On Marriage and Wives

First off this week, I want to direct your attention here, to a lovely little interview I did with the kind people from BlogExpat.  They seem to think that I am somewhat interesting, and that I might have advice for expatriates (spoiler alert:  I don’t, really – I’m pretty clueless myself).  Anyway, thanks to the BlogExpat folks – it’s always nice to be recognized, and I’m willing to take any attention I can get!

And now, the post for this week is dedicated to my wonderful and hilarious husband, with whom I will celebrate our first anniversary this week (well, one of our anniversaries, anyway; we have three we can choose from – the date of our legal marriage, the date of our wedding here, or the date of our wedding in his hometown).  We’ve had our ups and downs during this first year, but I am still tremendously lucky to have found him and have him in my life.

Happy anniversary, babe!

In honour of our first anniversary, I’m going to share with you, dear readers, the knowledge my husband has gained and the advice he has for men, now that he’s an old, married dude.  I’m also going to try to get around to updating my “About Me” page since it still says that I’m going to be getting married, but that’s another issue.

Every so often, my dear husband rants about regales me with his observations about marriage and women (and by “women”, he means me), and what he’s discovered about them since he’s been with me.  And I end up busting a gut laughing every time, because he is not only spot on, in his second language, by the way (I’m not entirely sure his grains of wisdom paint me in a very good light, but hey, a little self-deprecation never hurt anyone, right?!), but also immensely proud of the new nugget he’s figured out.  He’s still so new at this marriage thing, that he thinks this will somehow help him out in the future (ladies, let’s not spoil it for him; the innocence is just way too cute)!

Here we go…

Don’t argue with your wife.  You can argue with her, but you’ll never win.  Even if you win, you lose, because you have to cheer her up.

A few days after he shared this with me, I came across the following image online and showed it to him.  His deadpan response was, “Yeah…….I know.  So what?”

My husband already figured this out on his own.

Women don’t make sense.  Even if you do something and explain it very well, finally…you will lose.  No, they “always” make sense.  Because they always think they make sense.

From this, I basically gather that my husband is pretty sure that he understands women…or not…or maybe sometimes…or that maybe it’s best to just not ask.

Just listen to your wife, then you don’t have to do double work.  If she asks you something, don’t tell her your real answer, because she already knows what she wants to do.  If you suggest something, you’re wrong and you’ll lose.  She only asks you what you want to do to make you think it’s fair, but it’s not.

This one came about because of my love for small hot pot.  My husband will sometimes meet me after work and we walk to find a place for dinner before going home.  Both of us can be pretty indecisive at times, so we often end up asking each other what we want to eat, both answering that we don’t know.  As a default, he will often start heading towards the same old little hole-in-the-wall restaurant we usually eat at, but a couple of times I have then suggested we go to small hot pot instead.  This has lead him to assume that I always know what I want to do before I ask him.  Whoops!

Oh, small hot pot, how I love you…

God created women to punish men.

Yes, dear readers, of course I asked, “Why?  For what?”  “I don’t know, but I’m sure of it,” was his confident answer.

If you understand women, everything is easy.  If you don’t, nothing is easy, even things that have nothing to do with women.

This one came out while we were walking home from the gate of our zone one evening.  He was carrying a bag (not my purse!) that I had with me and I asked if he wanted me to take it back.  Since we were nearing home, he said, “No, because we’re almost home and you’re going to have to get your flashlight out of your bag soon to walk up the stairs.  And if you have to carry this bag and do that at the same time, you’ll make that noise you make when you’re annoyed – huff.  So I’ll just carry it for you.”

As I laughed about this, he shrugged and said, “See?  I understand women.”

I’m starting to think my husband really should develop that app he thought would be so helpful!

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