Dear Chinese drivers:
You suck.
I say it with all the love in the world, but it’s true, you suck.
I’ve written about how taxi drivers here are actually some of the best drivers, even though they seem crazy, and it’s true. But recently, I have taken a couple of car trips outside of the city, and the average Chinese person’s highway driving scares the pants off me. Why? Do you really want to know? OK, here’s a list:
- I know Chinese people often score high on standardized testing and all, but that doesn’t mean you are better at multi-tasking than any of the rest of us. Flying down the highway at 150km/h, smoking a cigarette, and talking or texting on a cell phone is eventually going to get you (and me if I’m in your car) into some serious carnage.
- What’s with the primal need that you have to be first (though not just while driving)? Example: I was attending a wedding one day. We started in the city, and then the car team traveled out to a nearby village for the lunch (for those who don’t know, there is often a big line of cars for weddings here that carry the guests. The first car contains the bride and groom and is always supposed to remain at the front of the line). We drove for an hour, on various qualities of roads, and all the while, the drivers constantly swerved around each other trying to be the first in line, even passing the lead car at times before realizing this was a bit of a faux pas. Really, can you not just chill out sometimes?
Riding in the van with my boss driving on narrow country roads - with a doggie bag of donkey meat on the dash.
- Choose a lane! Can you see those white-ish lines painted on the ground? They are there to separate the road into things called lanes so that cars can safely drive past one another and they allow for proper distance between the sides of those cars. So if you would just choose ONE (and preferably drive in the middle of it), the other cars on the road could go around you without nearly scraping the paint off both their car and yours. That being said…
- The shoulder of road is NOT a lane! Especially when it travels directly into a pillar for an overpass or a merge lane containing traffic.
Does driving a motorcycle with six live sheep in baskets on the back of it require a different class of license?
- The gas pedal (this applies to city driving too). Do you know that it doesn’t have to be constantly pumped? It’s not an old-fashioned sewing machine pedal. Why do you need to accelerate as fast as possible and then slam on the brakes at the first sight of something even remotely near the front of the car? Unless you enjoy being constantly carsick, there is a better way to drive (that old story about the tortoise and the hare – you’ll probably tell me that Chinese people invented that story way back in their long history, so perhaps you could take a bit of that advice to heart). And on a related note…
- When you choose to pass a large transport truck, why in the world do you feel the need to brake while doing so? Is it so that the driver of the truck can get a better glimpse at the Mickey Mouse stickers you have plastered all over your Passat? Seriously, if you’re passing a truck, the aim is to get past it and safely back into that lane, no? So stop pumping the brakes halfway through!
- Speaking of passing other vehicles, when you are driving on a divided highway, and all the traffic is going in the same direction, and there are two slower vehicles following one another in one lane, and you choose to pass them together, do you know that you don’t have to swerve back into their lane in between the two vehicles? What’s with this unnecessary swerving – are you just checking to ensure your steering still works? Just stay in the faster lane and pass them together. How hard is that?
- If you want to turn left onto a divided highway and you have both access to the proper lanes and time to get across the oncoming lanes to the proper lanes, why would you choose to drive into oncoming traffic instead, and continue here until the next access? That’s just asking for trouble.
The roads I am used to driving back home in Canada.
- What is the deal with the horn honking and light flicking? You honk/flick when you’re going to pass another car, when someone is driving too slowly, when you are going to be driving past someone on the side of the road, when someone takes a millisecond too long to start moving at a stoplight, when a song you like comes on the radio, and about a million other situations. Is it some sort of Morse code with different flicks and/or honks to notify other drivers of your intentions? Couldn’t you just, oh, I don’t know, use your signal lights for some of that?! (I have often wondered what would happen if you put a Chinese person into a car in which the lights and horn had been disabled and sent them out driving – would they self-combust in confusion and frustration?)
- Along the same lines, I would like to point out that I’m pretty sure most of you have no need for high beam headlights at all in your driving. I’ve yet to see a situation in this country where there is so little same- or opposite-direction traffic and the area is so remote and unlit that high beams are necessary. Please, save all of our eyesight, take a look down to your instrument panel, flick the little lever you like so much, and set them on low…and leave them there.
There. Just some of the reasons you suck as drivers. Don’t be upset, take it as “constructive criticism” from a concerned foreigner (concerned for her life, that is).
Sincerely,
Me
Chinese drivers freak me out and I spend most of my time on the sidewalk (which, by the way, is called a sideWALK for a reason, China, so get your e-bikes on the road where they belong). I really hate the honking, especially when it’s aimed at me because I’m doing something ridiculous like trying to cross the street.
P.S. Do you have an RSS feed for your blog, lady? I want to subscribe but I don’t see the little orange symbol anywhere.
It’s probably not called a sideWALK in Chinese – it probably translates to “little street” or something, which is why it’s all fair game!! I’ve learned to more or less ignore the honking, simply because it’s nearly constant.
Also…what is an RSS feed (insert embarrassed smiley here)?
If I may offer an explanation (though hardly a justification) as to why Chinese drivers don’t try to pass two or more slower cars at once. The drivers who don’t do this are the type that feels that driving in the fast lane is a risky move, and so to minimise the risk this type of drivers try to reduce the time they spend in the fast lane at any one time as much as possible. Of course, from the perspective of a typical Western driver, it’s questionable whether this “Chinese” approach is safer because if one is trying to pass multiple cars the total time spent in the fast lane will be no less, if not more, if he/she passes one car at a time, switching back and forth between lanes. However, the idea here is that the risk is proportional to the time spent continuously in the fast lane as opposed to the total time spent in the fast lane.
So the take away from this is that despite appearances, the Chinese are actually cautious drivers with a high regard for road safety. They just have a different way of going about it. (-:
I’m sorry, but I don’t buy this for a second. You’re trying to tell me that Chinese drivers flying along the highway at 150km/h and passing other vehicles are concerned about the safety of spending too much time in the ‘fast’ lane?!?! I think that the whole “not wearing seatbelts, talking on cell phones, swerving between lanes, driving 150km/h, and randomly slamming on the brakes” negates any chance that these are cautious drivers with high regard for road safety.
Well, you’re assuming that the drivers who fly along at 150 km/h, don’t wear the seat belt, talk on the cell phone, and etc are the same drivers who refuse to pass more than one car at a time. It may well be that such drivers do exist in China, but I’m just offering an explanation as to why the drivers you see in China may not want to pass more than one car at a time. It may not look like it from where you’re standing, but not all Chinese people drive with a flagrant disregard for road safety.
But it certainly looks that way from my view from the backseat. I’ve ridden with more than a few and so far, all have shared these characteristics. I’m sure there are some safe drivers in this country (our school driver being one), but there appear to be far more UNsafe ones.
And I submit this blog post, from another expat, as an explanation of part of the reason why this exists.
http://sheinchina.blogspot.com/2011/04/first-get-your-license-then-learn-how.html
Also, what I am complaining about (hehe!) takes place on divided highways – no oncoming traffic.
Yes! Yesyesyes! It was like this in Turkey as well and I hated it– and, in my 5th year there, got into a huge accident while being driven home from work with a company driver who was trying to pass on a very rainy night. Talking on his phone, smoking, ignoring our pleas to slow down just a bit on the crowded, slick freeway. Multi car pile up. I couldn’t walk for a month and still have lasting damage. One of my colleagues (the one next to the door) shattered her pelvis when a car slammed into her side. I was lucky, being in the middle- just banged head and a ton of soft tissue damage around my hip area.
Seat belts? Um, no, like here, they cut them out because they were in the way. I hate that! And because of what happened that time, I know that it can go wrong, even when the drivers insist that they are totally in control.
(Just a disclaimer: as I type this I haven’t checked out that blog you linked.)
I actually agree with you in the sense that I also think the traffic conditions in China are generally appalling. That said, I also believe that there are safety-minded drivers in China because even if we accept that Chinese drivers don’t care about the safety of others when they’re on the road, they most certainly do care about their own safety. The problem, though, is that because in China traffic laws are for the most part treated as a suggested guideline rather than a set of rigid rules that must be followed in order to maintain order and safety, there is no point for any safety-minded driver to follow the laws; the laws only work if everybody else agrees to follow them as well. For this reason, it’s difficult to tell the safety-minded drivers from the run-of-the-mill crazy ones in China.
I can agree with you on that. And as I said, I’m sure there are some safe drivers out there, and I know one in our school’s driver, but unfortunately, I think they are outnumbered by the poor drivers.
Thanks for reading and commenting, by the way!
No problem. You have a great blog. I found my way here from another China expat blog and kinda stuck around longer than I should have reading your posts. (-:
And congratulations on your recent nuptials, BTW. I hope everything turns out well at your upcoming wedding.
Thank you for both the compliment and the congratulations. We are very happy, although busy with planning. And I’m happy some people have related and enjoyed what I’ve written!
Very amusing. I learned to sit in the backseat and close my eyes and pray. Fortunately, witnessing the habits of drivers in China helped prepare me for the awful driving habits in Jersey City–these drivers are just idiots (I got yelled at for trying to cross at a red light when someone wanted to blow through it to make a right turn).
And have you read Hessler’s Country Driving yet? Good lessons on Chinese driving in there.
There have certainly been a number of times where I sit in the backseat, grab for the “Holy Shit” handles and phantom brake with my foot! And you’re right, there are bad drivers everywhere.
Haven’t read that book yet – will be sure to add it to the list!
One thing about Westerners that never ceases to amaze me is that, from their Prime Ministers down to any average Joe, wherever they go, they would always feel compelled to ‘educate’ the locals on how to govern their own country and how to drive on a modern highway.
Thanks for reading. Although half-serious, I meant this post to be light-hearted – I know full well I’ll never change Chinese drivers and when I’m in the car with them I don’t even try to do so. But thanks for lumping me in as an imperialistic jerk.
I used to have a Chinese classmate in my old college who used to drive me home sometimes and I genuinely think seeing how fast he could drive to my house was his past time. He even used to speed when it was snowy and icy. All the other cars would be driving like snails and he would be overtaking like nobody’s business. I don’t know whether it was a tactic to impress me and show me that he was such a great driver or what but it was awful. this was in Ireland but I can’t imagine what he would be like in China
Yikes, sounds scary!
People honk when they pass because, whatever the obligations are in theory, other vehicles aren’t expected to shoulder-check or signal a lane change in practice. So if you’re going to overtake a big truck, you should let him know, otherwise it’s your own fault if you get blindsided.
At least, that’s what I surmised from a few road trips on the highways.
加拿大 represent!
I’ve surmised that as well – we talk constantly about how the thinking goes “you only watch the 180 degrees directly in front of you; you don’t need to think about what’s going on behind, because the guy behind you should be watching that”. I’m not convinced it is the best idea in practice — but thankfully I don’t drive here, so I don’t need to train my mind to think that way!
I’ve noticed the same thing here in Yanji. It is especially irritating when drivers refuse to ield to pedestrians. A few weeks ago I was crossing a street with my niece. We were 3/4 the way accross when the light changed. instead of waiting the 5 seconds it would have taken up to cross, the driver in front of us gunned his engine and took off like a shot. We spent the next 5 minutes standing in the middle of the lanes while cars sped both in front of us and behind us. But what really scares me when trying to cross or turn left are the busses. Most bus drivers, if they are on the inside lane and they at least half a block from the intersecton when the light turns red will pull into the incoming lane and burn through the red light to get to the next stop. Yesterday my brother in law was turning left, with a green arrow, when a bus was in the far outside lane decided he was going to run the red light to get to the stop. I was in the passenger seat looking at the driver as we were turning, he was looking right at me with this blank expression on his face and was not about to stop. He was so close to T-Boning us that I stuck my hand out the window and yelled at the top of my lungs “G@D D#MMIT, STOP THAT G@D D#MMED BUS NOW!” Thankfully he stopped, but his expression did not change one bit.
check out my own blog at: http://yankeetexaninchina.blogspot.com/
It is certainly a different mindset here. I’m not sure I’ll ever be brave enough to get a license and drive, simply because I’m not sure I could flip the switch in my brain necessary to follow the flow of traffic here. It seems crazy to us, but it more or less works for them here.
Hi,
Funny and great observations. Wow, I could relate to most of your situations as I lived in Shanghai for a year and a half which is equivalent to 37 traffic years, I think.
Given your experiences, you can appreciate this:
http://www.tripfilms.com/Travel_Video-v71598-Shanghai-Understanding_Shanghai_Traffic_Lesson_3_The_Slice-Video.html
By the way, congratulations on your marriage!
Jerry
Haha, thanks! I think your time in Shanghai might equate to more like 43 traffic years, but close enough!
As I said before, and you probably know, it’s crazy to us, but somehow it works for them. Thanks for the congratulations as well. 
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Oh my goodness do I hear ya on this!!! It scary enough just seeing all the chaos and danger in front of you but it’s even scarier once you find out how easy it is to get a license without actually driving. When my Chinese roomate told me that she got her license in just three months I was horrified! I was even more horrified to discover she had never driven on a ‘real’ road with real life traffic conditions. She could literally jump in a car and drive off on her merry way unsupervised without any real experience. I’m sorry but as far as I’m concerned practicing on a simulator and driving course doesn’t really cut it.
When I think about how much time it took for me to get my license between the comprehensive course we had to do at school on road rules to the ridiculously difficult road rules test just to get our learner’s permit then the 50-100 required driving hours with an instructor or licensed driver, then two years on a probationary license with strict guidelines and we still don’t have perfect roads!!! No wonder Chinese roads are so mental when 3 months ‘training’ is adequate! *end rant*
Add to that the fact that some people have a friend take the test for them or pay someone off to get their license and have NEVER actually driven a car…
But even those with driving experience drive in such a strange way here. I don’t understand the need to accelerate hard and then slam on the brakes, or the idea that using features of your car like heat, A/C, lights, or the windshield defroster “wastes power” so it’s better not to use them at all.